(“Good” meaning good fit, responsible, competent, effective…)
Fit & Comfort
With all of your interactions with the therapist - starting from their website to their correspondence with email and phone calls, into any in-person sessions - you want to feel at ease and cared for. There's an intangible aspect that is about chemistry and it's different between every two people. I believe it's particularly important with a therapy relationship because you, as the client, will be sharing such intimate and vulnerable aspects of your life. You want someone who can honor you.
Expertise
Considering the areas of specialty or training that are most important to you – does the therapist possess them? Are they competent and knowledgeable in these areas?
I've included articles below with more detailed information on each of the following topics:
Style
Knowing why you are going to therapy and the goals you want to achieve (for example: to process past experiences, to gain tools, to discern, to problem solve, etc.), look to see if this therapist's style will help you meet your goals. Some people are highly structured, some like to give advice, some are very tool-based, some focus on asking questions to support self-discovery. In successful mentoring relationships you've had in the past, what styles work best for you?
Logistics
Are their hours, location, and price (including insurance options) factors you can work with? Sometimes the therapy session work is difficult and these logistic obstacles make it easy to avoid going. Reducing your obstacles can help make your work more successful.
You can gather information about therapists in at least three ways:
Referrals from others
Website of the therapist
PsychologyToday.com or other search engine (read tips for using Psychology Today)
Based on information from their website or profile online (and any experiences a friend gives you when they refer a therapist), consider whose personalities stand out to you. Who would you want to get to know more? Make sure their logistics aren't deal breakers, then consider reaching out to them with an email or phone call.
Scheduling a First Appointment
At each point of information and interaction, you are evaluating if this therapist would be a good fit for you. Use these data points to decide if you want to schedule a first appointment. A real session will be one of the best ways for you to determine what therapy would be like with this person. Ideally a therapist would be steady throughout the process – in an initial phone call, at a first appointment, and at all appointments going forward. This may not always be the case, since all of us have moments of being in flow, being distracted, or feeling nervous (yes, therapists get nervous too!).
Even if you schedule a first appointment, this does not mean that you have committed to any future with the therapist.
Read more: Process of making a therapy appointment
Ending the Process (either not scheduling, or quitting after an initial session)
Therapists know that clients want to find a good fit and can walk away at any time (Read more: How do I quit therapy?). You can have conversations and not go any further, we're used to it. The situation is better for all involved if you do the work beforehand to figure out who you are, who you want, and your essential logistics to set yourself up for successful and sustainable therapy sessions.
