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How do I quit therapy?

Updated: Apr 25, 2020

Decision-Making and Preparing: Ask yourself, “How do I know I want to quit?”

What are the clues and guidance you are using in this decision? Is it a gut feeling, are you noticing some red flags, is there something you have learned in your past that is helping to inform this? Whatever they are, honor that they exist - you have every right to make a change.


If you have found that you want to end because of one specific incident, it may be valuable for you to bring this up to your therapist and create an opportunity for repair.


It is important to understand your decision-making process and thinking. This can give you confidence in your request and conviction to see it through. When you know how you are making the decision, you can articulate them to your therapist and to yourself. Not as an excuse, but as a way to stay grounded in your wants.


Ideally you will clearly and directly tell your therapist that you will no longer be seeing them.

Celebration

You may choose to quit because you have met all of your goals or because of an outside situation (such as moving, or a change in insurance or finances). This will be a natural ending and one where you and the therapist can have a closing session to review the work you did together, celebrate your accomplishments, and review the new tools and skills were gained. This is also an opportune time for the client to consider possible signals or clues that occur to indicate to the client they may want to return to therapy.


Struggle

Or, you may want to quit due to a struggle in the therapist-client relationship. Ideally a therapist will be receptive and thankful to hear your feedback. Since fit is an important component to therapy, therapists understand if the fit is not working out and know to not take it personally.

But no matter how a therapist responds, it is their responsibility to handle their feelings and not place any blame or anger on you, the client. Even if a therapist wonders if you're making a helpful decision for yourself, they should be thoughtful and respectful in choosing to inquire about this or not.

Sometimes it is difficult to be clear and direct with a therapist, for a variety of reasons.

  1. Assertiveness: You may find it to be a challenge to be assertive in general (maybe that's something you have been working on in therapy).

  2. Power: It may feel like there is a power imbalance - where the therapist has an authority position and quitting can feel like questioning authority.

  3. Subjectivity: Your view and your therapist's view are subjective. You may see it one way and they see it another. It can feel confusing or intimidating to make a decision if you worry that the other person will disagree with you.


Ghosting

Some clients cease to respond to a therapist or schedule appointments with them. Therapists likely pick up on this communication, understand that the relationship has changed, and may refrain from reaching out further.

Legal Matters

Since therapists have a legal liability of the mental health of their clients, they need to be clear about whether a client is active or closed. They may indicate in their records about this status, but refrain from communicating this to a client, as the therapist is often open to a client re-initiating communication in the future.


Open Door

No matter how you end therapy, the door is always open for you to return. You can seek out a former therapist or start with a new one. There is a general hope among therapists that whatever we do - whatever blunders we make or hurts we cause - that we won't create a distaste of therapy for our clients so that they swear off the practice forever.



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