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What do I do if my therapist disappoints me?

Updated: Apr 25, 2020

This will likely happen. Therapists are humans who are imperfect and disappoint others at times.

You may want to tell your therapist about the disappointment and talk it through. This could lead to a better relationship with the therapist, professional growth for the therapist, and/or growth for yourself (as you are assertive about your experience and needs, ask for and receive an apology, or work towards reconciliation).

It may also be a way to consider how you interact with others, what your expectations are in relationships, and whether or not you continue in a relationship after a disappointment.

In my opinion, a quality professional therapist will take the information that you share seriously and respectfully. When you tell them your experience they will be able to respond and change as necessary. No one can read minds so you must be pro-active and verbal.

Sometimes a disappointment is so large that you may want to consider ending your relationship with your therapist. I recommend discussing the situation with a trusted friend. Helpful questions to ask yourself are:

  • When someone disappoints me, how do I often respond?

  • What would someone else in my shoes do?

  • Did the therapist break my trust? If so, do I think we can repair it? Do I still feel safe sharing my life with this therapist?

Ultimately, it is your decision what to do if your human therapist disappoints you. Maybe this will create fruitful dialogue in your therapy sessions. Maybe this will signal the end of the relationship. Maybe something else entirely.

But paying attention to your thoughts and feelings about therapy can serve you to make deliberate choices for yourself, which will likely improve your level of satisfaction and the quality of many of your relationships.



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