You’ve decided to end your season of therapy, so how do you do it?
I suggest 3 main buckets of thought to help you as you prepare to conclude, the answers to which will help you in your on-going journey of life:
#1: Growth What has the journey been like? Where have I seen growth? What have been wins?
Review how things have been in your life since you started therapy. What’s changed? What has improved?
It can be helpful to write these things down and return to them. These notes can serve as both reminders of tools or techniques that helped, and also mile markers to prove you’ve been growing.
Take a moment to celebrate yourself. Being in the therapy space can be difficult at times, and you persevered through it. You took a step to grow through discomfort and learning, which is quite a feat. Be proud of yourself!
#2: Tools What are activities I can be doing regularly to support my mental health?
Hopefully you’ve expanded your toolkit in the therapy process. Keep note of what those tools are so that you don’t forget them as time passes.
Use the tools! Integrate them into your life and do so in ways that stick. Therapy can serve as a bit of scaffolding as you’re building a solid foundation of tools and habits in your life. Taking good care of your new building will be essential for its flourishing. But, you have to actively ensure that you have these tools embedded into your life and protect your structure.
If having a regular therapy appointment has been a tool and you’ll be concluding that, will you need replace it with other things? This may be ensuring you journal to process or you’re having candid conversations with loved ones. This might not be necessary for you, and you’ll want to know what the answer is so you can best care for yourself.
#3: Distress Signals What are my personal signs that I could use extra support and want to seek out working with a therapist again? What are clues that I am in a space of distress?
If you came to therapy because, to borrow from Step #1 of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps, your life had become unmanageable, then what can you do to prevent that rock bottom space from happening again? What are the clues or signs that you are headed down that path?
For example:
“I skip working out”
“I eat a certain junk food”
“I avoid talking to my loved ones”
“I cancel social events”
“I have a shorter temper”
“It’s hard to explain, but I just don’t feel right inside”
Whatever these are for you, be clear about them right now. And check-in on yourself regularly. The best way to care well for yourself is to take action before things get worse.
Finally, Trust Yourself
My last piece of advice is to trust yourself. My guess is that you have accomplished some things and have evidence of your abilities. You are actively seeking to make your life even better, and you’ve navigated through hard things. All of these things combined are proof that you can take good care of yourself, and course-correct when needed. Have faith in yourself!
Other related topics:
Feedback for the Therapist
If you find that you have some suggestions for your therapist to improve or some complaints for them, I encourage you to share them. They’ll never know if you don’t share. Most likely they’ll appreciate your investment in their growth.
My one caveat is to consider why you are waiting until your departure to share these things. It will be difficult for you and your therapist to work through your suggestions or for your therapist to make any repair attempts.
If you do want to share, here are some helpful suggestions.
Why Start Therapy
A person seeks therapy for one of two typical reasons:
#1: A Specific Goal
There is a specific goal you want to accomplish via therapy, and once you meet that goal then you conclude the work.
This might be moving from surviving to stability with regards to anxiety or depression. It might be gaining better communication skills or improving your social skills so you feel more confident in social settings. It might be making an important decision. It might be unpacking a specific event (such as a death of a loved one, a difficult job position, or a transition.) Whatever the reason, there tends to be a specific action item that you can achieve and know when you’ve achieved it. Ending therapy at this point is a natural conclusion.
#2: On-Going Growth
You’d like to do on-going therapy work because either:
You want to go deeper and explore some roots or foundation places in your life to improve. This may be working on your family-of-origin, your faith journey, or vocational discernment. Maybe you’ve dealt with trauma and, after working on it acutely, you’re looking at the future and how to integrate your past with your present.
You want to move from a place of stability to thriving. Sometimes there’s not necessarily a specific problem to be solved, you just want an even better life than you have right now. You might be in a place where you have a deep dream and are struggling to make it a reality, such as a writing project or a physical goal (like climbing Machu Picchu). This is the “I’ve always wanted to __” space.
Whatever the structure and reason for therapy, concluding your season for working with a therapist is very natural.
If you’re new to therapy or considering entering into therapy, it can be comforting to know that this isn’t your new normal where you’ll be in therapy every week for the rest of your life. You get to choose how you want your therapist to support you. It’s typically for a season. And you can always return when you desire.